New Minions
by Metallikath
Summary: A disney's herc fanfic...hades is annoyed with pain and panic and goes on the lookout for new employees..not that much up yet, RR and tell me what you think so far


Hades let out an exasperated sigh, "Ok here's the deal, I have tried time and time again to give you two an assignment I feel is within even YOUR range of handling," he put his face on his knuckles in frustration while Pain and Panic quaked in fear, awaiting his wrath that was soon to be upon them, "but you two are so..so..AAAAAAAAGH!!" His body erupted in yellow-orange flame as he slammed his fists onto the table; Panic jumped into Pain's arms, apparently sure that his boss would strike them sooner than later.  
"Alright, minions, here's what we're gonna do.listen up, and for the love of the GODS STOP THAT TREMBLING! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO REPRESENT ME, REMEMBER?! What would people say if they knew the Lord of the Neitherworld, a.k.a. yours truly, was sending little nancy-boys around to carry-out my evil-schemes?! Anyways, I think you should, ahem, "feed" Cerberus, you know we've been starving him so that the next victims, I mean, organisms who approach it will receive 'special attention from it.' While you do that, I'm.I'm gonna take a walk that's what I'm gonna do, and get a little deserved peace. I'm outta here." And with that Hades vanished and a cloud of black vapor lingered in the spot on which he had just been standing.  
Pain and Panic exchanged nervous glances.  
"Man I HATE it when he's in a bad mood," Panic huffed as they walked towards the three-headed beast's chamber.  
"Yah," Pain agreed, "Especially since we didn't mess up that last war between Athens and Sparta all THAT bad-flings out arm and unceremoniously knocks Panic over--, I mean, there were a few who died.He just expects too much from war, genocide isn't that easy." Panic-whose face had hit the dirt, emerges with a black smudge under his nose. "Geez Panic, you look like a real idiot with that 'little black mustache'.  
  
Black vapor appears in a grassy meadow, followed by the blue-flame headed god.  
"Ahh, finally some peace and quiet," a bird falls on his head and then bounces to the ground, where he kicks it into a mud puddle with his foot, "OY!!! What's the big idea?! Disturbing a god-- and a good-looking one in fact-- in the middle of his restful state?!" Two figures emerged on the hill-top running at full speed. Judging by the grace of their strides, Hades assumed they were female. "Oh, I get it," he mused, "More who can't resist the H-man, well come get it babes!" Before he knew what was happening, he was on his back, a foot on his chest, a spear point to his temple and an arrow to his neck.  
"Whoa, whoa, babe! It's alright if ya like it rough, but isn't this a bit of an overkill??"  
"You've spoiled our meat!" Hades looked at the one with the spear, she was not a women, but not a child, he guessed somewhere in her teens. The other looked the same age.  
"What?" he stared around until his gaze landed on the fallen fowl. "Oh thaaaaaaat. Well, ya see babe, if I may be so bold, why don't ya just order take-out gyros?" The point pressed a little harder, "Whoa take it easy, so you like 'em fresh, I can understand that.tell ya what, seeing as this is not the most comfortable position to be in, why don't I find you another creature to, um, 'prey on'?" The girls looked at one another, nodded, withdrew their weapons, and helped Hades to his feet. The spear-holder had thick brown hair cascading from the top of her head. Her eyes were green, and she would have looked quite pretty had she not been frowning and furrowing her eyebrows. The other was not as threatening. He noticed something almost boyish in her appearance; no doubt, she was beautiful: she had fair skin and light eyes, blonde hair wrapped on the top of her head, but her chiton was, in fact, boyish. It was short, and white, lacking the colors and gold that most girls die to walk around in; in fact her companion was garbed in red blue and gold, resembling an Amazon.  
"We're listening," the blonde muttered, while the other continued to grip her spear with impatience.  
"Hades, Lord of the Dead, at your service," he bowed, "first things first, how bout a proper introduction from your, er," he felt the icy glaze of the Amazon pierce his flesh, "domineering presence?"  
The blonde opened her mouth to speak but her comrade cut her off, "Ha, why should we reveal our identities to you? How do we really know you're the Captain of Evil himself?" Hades sighed and summoned a fire- ball. They watched him carefully. He threw it into the sky and seconds later five geese had fallen to the ground. Then he tossed another fire- ball into a nearby hole, which exploded, and left a few rabbits at their feet. The gray eyes of the blonde were wide in amazement. The other still looked unimpressed.  
"Atalanta," the gray-eyed girl said, crouching down and picking up a lifeless rabbit by its ears.  
"Come again?" Hades was apparently so proud of his "godly powers" that he failed to recognize her voice.  
"My name is Atalanta. I live in Athens, but I was raised in the forests of Arcadia by hunters."  
"Tempest, daughter of Hippolyte, queen of the Amazon warriors," The brunette added as she flung the animals into a sac and signaled to her fellow for departure. Hades watched them walk away, and shook his head. "Kids today, oy, where will their strangeness end? They were cute though.too bad I'm married.wait a minute that never stops Zeus from "doing his thing" with the ladies, mortals and gods alike.ah well, they're already gone, a bit too dominatrix for my tastes anyways.but maybe I can find a use for them." a grin appeared on his face and he teleported back the Underworld.  
  
"Here ya go, Sir, an entire record of every living mortal in the world," Pain offered a thick leather-bound book to his master, exposing gashes on his arms-he was a bit too eager in offering a doggy biscuit to Cerberus. Hades snatched the book and began flipping through its pages.  
"OK, let's start with the Amazon. T, T, where is the T section?? Oh here we go... Theseus, oops too far, Tempest ok. Amazon princess--knew that--untrustworthy--that could be hard to work around--hates men--that's not too good either--fierce, huntress, strong mind and will power--hmm, she may be hard to convince..." the minions were obviously not understanding what their master was talking about, " Let's try the other one, she didn't seem as malevolent as the other one..Agamemnon.Andromeda.Ariadne.Ah, here it is, Atalanta. Let's see.abandoned by father, left to die in wilderness, found by hunters--yada yada--patron goddess is Artemis-- ha why am I not surprised--enough history, where're the personality traits? Ok here, virginal--haha why am I not surprised by that either, bada-bing!-- determined, obedient, fast runner & strong, has beaten many men in foot- races and wrestling matches.witty." Hades slammed the book shut. "Well, boys, looks like I've found new recruits for our ranks." The minions stared at him confusedly. "But boss," Panic said, "how will they agree to do your bidding? They're not dead and they aren't evil minions." "I'm sure we can work something out," he grinned maliciously, "or we can take the easy way out and just kill them, but hey, I like a challenge."  
  
At Prometheus Academy...  
  
"Another delta minus?!?! I swear I think its time for me to just give up on history and the stupid surprise attack at the Battle of Marathon." Hercules tucked his test tablet gruffly under one arm. "Fret not, my friend, in the words of Aristotle---," "Wanna give it a rest, freak-boy? Can't you see he's ticked off?" "Ah, spoken so truly from the heart, it's a wonder every man alive doesn't throw himself at your perfect feet," Icarus batted his eyes at Cassandra, who in return rolled hers and pushed him away.  
Hercules walked on, caught up in his frustration, when he ran into someone. The tablet was knocked from his grip and shattered on the ground. "Ha, oops, sorry Jerk-cules. Well actually no, not really. Watch where you're going next time, you're making me late for my royal foot-bath between class." Adonis haughtily pushed aside the three friends and kept walking. Hercules bent down and gathered up a few shards in his hands. "You know," he began, "he may be a royal pain in the ass, but at least my parents, mortal and immortal, will never know about my delta minus...this day isn't going so bad after all..." Before either of his best-friends could respond, a fig came pelting through the sky and smashed on his head. A blonde girl trotted up to them, blushing. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Hercules," Atalanta said, her face the color of Hephaestus's forge, "Tempest and I were seeing who could throw this fig the farthest--don't laugh, Icarus, it warms up our muscles for javelin throwing, since there's a competition next week--and well, guess who threw it the farthest?" She knelt down, and tried to brush away the fig remains from his face, however she just succeeded in smearing the stickiness more. She turned redder. Tempest approached them and stared down at the two. "Atalanta, what are you doing? You don't need to help him, all men are unworthy of our presence." Now it was Hercules who turned crimson, being surrounded by two of his many crushes. When Atalanta continued to try to clear the fig, Tempest added, "You know, we could make this easier," and she unsheathed her sword, preparing to cut off his head. "That's really OK, Tempest. There's the bell, it's alright Atalanta, I'll be fine," Hercules stood up and picked the last few pieces of fig from his hair. Cassandra suddenly went rigid and her eyes began to fog-over. "I predict disaster," she began. "Baby, that's what you always predict," Icarus said, "and there will be disaster if we're late for Ms. Cassiopeia's class..." As they walked off, no one seemed to notice a dark vapor that was cumulating where they had stood. Hades appeared and watched them walk off to class. He made to follow them, but stepped in something most unappealing to step in. "Yuck, I hate figs. Oy, where's the Quicker-Picker-Upper when ya need it?" 


End file.
